1 00:00:57,799 --> 00:01:04,399 {\2c&H0000FF&}片名:【少林足球】 2 00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:31,762 給我張支票,什麼意思? 3 00:02:31,968 --> 00:02:32,593 要我踢假球? 4 00:02:32,802 --> 00:02:34,064 不是…我是中間人 5 00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:35,168 我只不過是受人所托 6 00:02:35,371 --> 00:02:37,339 你是耍我,還是要害我? 7 00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:39,940 你別以為我倒下,你就可爬上去 8 00:02:40,176 --> 00:02:41,404 你想都別想 9 00:02:41,611 --> 00:02:43,670 你給我看清楚 10 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,644 黃金右腳,是我不是你 11 00:02:46,849 --> 00:02:48,544 想超越我,想都別想 12 00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:50,548 我真的不敢想,我最近手頭緊 13 00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:52,880 我想抽點佣金,你千萬不要告訴別人 14 00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:55,057 你這個敗類,連狗都不如 15 00:02:55,291 --> 00:02:58,089 對不起鋒哥,我先走了 16 00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:28,216 黃金右腳!黃金右腳 17 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:33,657 黃金右腳 18 00:03:33,863 --> 00:03:41,395 黃金右腳 19 00:04:31,554 --> 00:04:33,647 強雄哥,你稱霸球壇二十年 20 00:04:33,890 --> 00:04:36,324 自從黃金右腳射失十二碼受傷之後 21 00:04:36,592 --> 00:04:38,287 你就一直未逢敵手,那麼現在你 22 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,120 不開心的事就不要再提了 23 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:41,261 強雄哥,你的魔鬼隊 24 00:04:41,497 --> 00:04:42,896 連續五屆超級杯從沒打輸 25 00:04:43,099 --> 00:04:44,191 究竟有什麼祕密? 26 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,028 祕密?誰是領隊就是祕密 27 00:04:47,236 --> 00:04:48,863 那今年的超級杯應該是志在必得了? 28 00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:52,063 你第一天做記者?這個問題還用問? 29 00:04:53,743 --> 00:04:56,234 各位,對不起 30 00:04:56,813 --> 00:04:58,974 雄哥,早 31 00:05:00,783 --> 00:05:01,875 黃金右腳 32 00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:05,921 雄哥,早 33 00:05:06,155 --> 00:05:07,315 早 34 00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,718 雄哥,你的鞋髒了 35 00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:11,153 我幫你擦乾淨 36 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,453 不用…我自己來 37 00:05:20,870 --> 00:05:22,462 雄哥,我去開車 38 00:05:22,672 --> 00:05:25,937 雄哥,你不是說讓我帶球隊嗎? 39 00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:27,973 我可以了,我準備好了 40 00:05:28,177 --> 00:05:31,146 我一定把他們訓練得橡魔鬼隊般厲害 41 00:05:31,747 --> 00:05:33,305 你這德性還可以帶隊嗎? 42 00:05:33,516 --> 00:05:34,574 收山吧 43 00:05:34,784 --> 00:05:36,012 不是,雄哥,你不是說 44 00:05:36,219 --> 00:05:40,451 我說說公頓,人是要面對現實的 45 00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:43,352 你看你,那條腿瘸成那樣 46 00:05:44,227 --> 00:05:47,060 你以為你還可靠這四個字混飯吃嗎? 47 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:48,525 雄哥 48 00:05:48,731 --> 00:05:49,789 我跟你這麼多年 49 00:05:49,999 --> 00:05:51,398 你現在跟我說這種話? 50 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:54,866 我今天心情不好,人是會變的 51 00:05:55,071 --> 00:05:56,732 你那時候挺帥的 52 00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:59,999 你看看你,現在變成這德性 53 00:06:00,209 --> 00:06:01,608 回鄉去吧 54 00:06:01,844 --> 00:06:03,744 我養了你二十年了 55 00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:06,471 人至義盡,便當錢不少的 56 00:06:06,682 --> 00:06:08,149 強雄 57 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,351 你不要這麼過份 58 00:06:10,553 --> 00:06:12,680 要不是二十年前你給我一張空頭支票 59 00:06:12,889 --> 00:06:15,119 叫我踢假球,斷送了這條腿 60 00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:17,189 我今天會變成這樣? 61 00:06:17,393 --> 00:06:19,657 幹什麼?發脾氣?大聲點 62 00:06:19,862 --> 00:06:21,420 喂,你們聽見沒有? 63 00:06:21,664 --> 00:06:24,656 外面有記者,要不要把他們叫進來? 64 00:06:25,868 --> 00:06:27,267 你以為我養你二十年為什麼 65 00:06:27,503 --> 00:06:29,334 就是堵住你這張臭嘴 66 00:06:29,538 --> 00:06:30,937 你看你臭要飯的樣子 67 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:32,129 人家會不會信你呢? 68 00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:34,275 -你! -別生氣 69 00:06:34,510 --> 00:06:37,001 如果要怪,就怪你自己 70 00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:39,348 貪心 71 00:06:39,582 --> 00:06:41,243 回鄉去吧 72 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,820 再告訴你一件事 73 00:06:46,022 --> 00:06:49,822 當年打斷你腿的那幫人,也是我安排 74 00:07:20,957 --> 00:07:25,326 有什麼了不起的 75 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:41,835 球,不是這麼踢的 76 00:07:56,492 --> 00:07:58,221 你說什麼? 77 00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:02,696 我說球 78 00:08:03,632 --> 00:08:05,623 並不是這麼踢的 79 00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:11,405 那,應該怎麼踢呀? 80 00:08:11,607 --> 00:08:15,976 一句話,腰馬合一 81 00:08:17,179 --> 00:08:20,171 何謂腰馬台一? 82 00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:38,127 腰馬台一,是我心目中浩氣長存的 83 00:08:38,334 --> 00:08:42,361 己故偉大武術家李小龍先生己解釋過 84 00:08:42,571 --> 00:08:43,936 但是如果你想再多了解一點 85 00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:46,267 那就跟我學兩堂功夫 86 00:08:46,475 --> 00:08:48,443 學什麼功夫? 87 00:08:48,677 --> 00:08:51,578 看你的樣子,還不是在這兒掃地 88 00:08:52,248 --> 00:08:54,273 掃地只是我的表面工作 89 00:08:54,517 --> 00:08:57,281 其實我的真正身分是一個研究僧 90 00:08:57,486 --> 00:08:59,044 研究僧? 91 00:08:59,255 --> 00:09:01,189 從事如何有效地 92 00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:05,018 發揚少林武功的研究工作 93 00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:06,988 這張是我的名片 94 00:09:08,898 --> 00:09:13,597 少林正宗大力金剛腿 95 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,293 是,很大力的 96 00:09:17,206 --> 00:09:20,073 打打殺殺,你找別人吧 97 00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:21,799 我受過高等教育的 98 00:09:22,044 --> 00:09:23,636 錯了 99 00:09:26,882 --> 00:09:28,179 你看那個靚女 100 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,785 靚女又怎麼樣? 101 00:09:32,988 --> 00:09:34,888 -我是讀書人… -不… 102 00:09:35,124 --> 00:09:37,786 你看 103 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,634 如果她會少林的輕功 104 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,401 就不會發生這種事了 105 00:09:55,611 --> 00:09:56,703 你看 106 00:10:04,553 --> 00:10:07,420 所以說,武功的確是棒 107 00:10:08,557 --> 00:10:10,787 小姐,有沒有興趣學功夫? 108 00:10:11,026 --> 00:10:12,789 神經病 109 00:10:14,663 --> 00:10:16,426 你再看看那邊那位太太 110 00:10:16,899 --> 00:10:19,367 如果她會少林的鐵沙掌 111 00:10:19,602 --> 00:10:21,570 停車就不用這麼愁了 112 00:10:25,841 --> 00:10:28,776 所以說,武功的確是行 113 00:10:29,011 --> 00:10:30,308 太太,有沒有興趣學… 114 00:10:30,513 --> 00:10:32,481 行了…那邊要去 115 00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:35,876 這一毛錢我也有份 116 00:10:36,085 --> 00:10:37,848 別這麼掃興 117 00:10:38,053 --> 00:10:39,452 你再看看那邊 118 00:10:39,655 --> 00:10:41,486 你剪什麼? 119 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,248 剪棵樹剪了一年? 120 00:10:43,492 --> 00:10:44,823 你不用開工了,走 121 00:10:45,027 --> 00:10:47,018 -對不起… -走吧 122 00:10:47,296 --> 00:10:49,992 如果那個工人會少林的獨孤九劍 123 00:10:50,199 --> 00:10:51,564 哪用那麼麻煩? 124 00:10:54,003 --> 00:10:57,131 獨孤九劍,好像是華山派… 125 00:10:57,306 --> 00:11:00,639 天下武功出少林,你沒聽過嗎? 126 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,228 功夫其實絕對是適合男女老幼的 127 00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:25,900 打打殺殺只是大家對它的誤解 128 00:11:26,135 --> 00:11:27,898 功夫更加是一種藝術 129 00:11:28,103 --> 00:11:29,832 一種不屈的精神 130 00:11:30,039 --> 00:11:31,597 所以一直以來我都在找方法 131 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,969 想將功夫重新包裝起來 132 00:11:34,176 --> 00:11:35,575 使得你們這些市井小民 133 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,110 對功夫能夠有更深一層的了解 134 00:11:38,314 --> 00:11:39,246 好啦 135 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:40,675 我還沒說完呢 136 00:11:40,883 --> 00:11:42,316 差不多了 137 00:11:42,551 --> 00:11:43,813 我還有幾個客人要見呢 138 00:11:44,019 --> 00:11:45,418 今天就這樣吧 139 00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:47,248 你把握機會好不好? 140 00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:49,151 瘸子也可以練功夫的 141 00:11:49,391 --> 00:11:52,554 瘸什麼瘸?瘸你媽的 142 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,820 你這傻瓜有什麼資格說我瘸? 143 00:11:55,064 --> 00:11:55,792 對不起 144 00:11:55,998 --> 00:11:56,794 是呀,我是瘸 145 00:11:56,999 --> 00:11:59,991 怎麼樣?你有的瘸嗎? 146 00:12:00,236 --> 00:12:01,396 瘸? 147 00:12:02,871 --> 00:12:04,133 瘸你媽的 148 00:12:12,781 --> 00:12:15,215 怎麼? 149 00:12:15,451 --> 00:12:16,577 唬我呀? 150 00:12:16,785 --> 00:12:20,152 這垃圾你收不收?不收我給別人了 151 00:12:20,356 --> 00:12:21,186 收,收 152 00:12:21,423 --> 00:12:22,617 動作快點 153 00:12:22,858 --> 00:12:26,760 怎麼?唬我呀? 154 00:12:54,957 --> 00:12:57,892 走…走呀 155 00:13:20,749 --> 00:13:22,512 麻煩你,幫我把雪櫃搬上去 156 00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,049 好,來 157 00:13:30,959 --> 00:13:32,517 腿這麼厲害 158 00:13:36,665 --> 00:13:38,064 -兩毛錢! -啊!兩毛錢? 159 00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:39,699 裡面又杯子又碟子,多給一毛錢吧 160 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,132 沒了…沒有少啦… 161 00:13:42,338 --> 00:13:43,236 阿華,把它搬過去 162 00:15:08,323 --> 00:15:11,190 阿梅,給我來十個饅頭 163 00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:48,561 太極功夫做饅頭,驚天動地 164 00:15:48,797 --> 00:15:54,167 饅頭看來又香又甜,誰都想吃 165 00:15:54,403 --> 00:15:57,236 但見阿妹雙臂好力 166 00:15:57,406 --> 00:16:04,539 令到阿哥五體投地 167 00:16:05,113 --> 00:16:06,273 你… 168 00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:08,045 你幹什麼? 169 00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,241 除了唱歌,我想不到其他方法 170 00:16:10,486 --> 00:16:14,252 來表達我內心的興奮和對你的仰慕 171 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:17,658 好正點 172 00:16:19,595 --> 00:16:22,496 我不好看,你別笑我 173 00:16:22,698 --> 00:16:24,825 你看這饅頭多正點啊 174 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,830 好吃 175 00:16:31,006 --> 00:16:33,770 你剛才那招太極拳的移形換影 176 00:16:33,976 --> 00:16:37,173 是以柔克剛,四兩撥千斤 177 00:16:37,946 --> 00:16:39,140 好! 178 00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:42,848 怪不得這饅頭剛中有柔,硬中又有軟 179 00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:46,911 饅頭五毛錢一個,兩個一塊 180 00:16:48,390 --> 00:16:49,914 -這麼貴? -是呀 181 00:16:50,158 --> 00:16:52,126 所以說,真是一分錢一分貨 182 00:16:52,628 --> 00:16:54,823 我剛好身上有五毛錢 183 00:16:55,030 --> 00:16:56,520 剩下過兩天再給行不行? 184 00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:57,594 不行 185 00:16:57,799 --> 00:17:00,927 好!學武之人講句話都這麼灑脫 186 00:17:01,169 --> 00:17:02,932 其實我也是個武林中人 187 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,364 給點面子好不好? 188 00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:05,234 不好 189 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:06,132 好! 190 00:17:10,345 --> 00:17:12,413 我這雙名貴球鞋原價兩塊錢 191 00:17:12,547 --> 00:17:14,415 因為你,算一塊五 192 00:17:14,449 --> 00:17:15,817 我就多拿你一個饅頭就好啦 193 00:17:15,851 --> 00:17:17,140 -我報警了 -好! 194 00:17:19,054 --> 00:17:20,922 喂!法律不外乎人情 195 00:17:21,056 --> 00:17:23,825 糟了,靚女,我越看你越漂亮 196 00:17:24,059 --> 00:17:26,550 -嘿..... -你別唱了...喂! 197 00:17:28,362 --> 00:17:29,229 你別再唱了! 198 00:17:29,463 --> 00:17:30,932 你把錢給我,趕快走吧 199 00:17:31,066 --> 00:17:33,434 你要唱歌的話,到那邊山上去唱 200 00:17:33,568 --> 00:17:35,559 神經病才在這裡唱歌呢 201 00:17:36,771 --> 00:17:38,862 我不同意這位小姐的說法 202 00:17:40,174 --> 00:17:44,534 在這裡唱歌,不一定都是神經病 203 00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:46,547 我叫醬爆 204 00:17:46,981 --> 00:17:48,849 我從來沒有放棄 205 00:17:48,883 --> 00:17:51,752 成為一個偉大作曲家的理想 206 00:17:51,786 --> 00:17:54,578 剛才聽到這位先生唱的歌 207 00:17:54,590 --> 00:17:57,981 熱情奔放,創意無限 208 00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:58,823 多謝 209 00:17:59,027 --> 00:18:00,289 不用客氣 210 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:04,393 燃點起我醬爆心中的一團火 211 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,192 我醬爆感覺到,在這個時刻 212 00:18:08,403 --> 00:18:09,961 要爆了 213 00:18:27,456 --> 00:18:31,051 我豬肉佬何嘗不想成為偉大舞蹈家? 214 00:18:53,015 --> 00:18:54,073 好! 215 00:19:31,019 --> 00:19:33,010 你是不是吃飽了撐著? 216 00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:38,016 站直!手放下!脖子伸直 217 00:19:39,027 --> 00:19:40,790 你們全都神經病 218 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:42,787 在這裡跳什麼舞? 219 00:19:45,734 --> 00:19:47,031 你這死丫頭!越來越沒有用 220 00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:48,463 我只不過去做一下面膜 221 00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:51,901 你就把這裡搞得亂七八糟,賤骨頭 222 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:53,703 你這臭要飯的過來幹什麼? 223 00:19:53,909 --> 00:19:56,070 你罵人不要罵得那麼兇 224 00:19:56,845 --> 00:19:58,745 我是來買饅頭的 225 00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:03,308 老闆娘,饅頭好了沒有? 226 00:20:03,552 --> 00:20:05,247 好了!好了!等一下 227 00:20:05,554 --> 00:20:07,317 那個臭要飯的有沒有給錢? 228 00:20:11,326 --> 00:20:12,691 給了 229 00:20:13,528 --> 00:20:16,053 這髒不拉機什麼東西?還不給我扔了 230 00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:29,739 大師兄 231 00:20:35,917 --> 00:20:39,478 大師兄!大師兄… 232 00:20:39,688 --> 00:20:40,518 行了… 233 00:20:40,756 --> 00:20:44,317 你們自覺一點,幹活好不好? 234 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,463 大師兄,你身體不舒服嗎? 235 00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:51,392 昨晚喝多了,頭好疼 236 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:52,498 又想幹嘛? 237 00:20:52,701 --> 00:20:55,192 我想告訴你,我醒了 238 00:20:55,437 --> 00:20:57,405 -你醒了? -醒了 239 00:20:57,606 --> 00:20:58,504 我終於領悟到 240 00:20:58,707 --> 00:21:01,005 如果要將少林功夫發揚到全世界 241 00:21:01,209 --> 00:21:02,107 是要講包裝的 242 00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:03,311 什麼包裝? 243 00:21:04,980 --> 00:21:06,948 唱歌 244 00:21:08,383 --> 00:21:10,112 今天我的遭遇說出來你也不信 245 00:21:10,318 --> 00:21:12,218 -我經過一間饅頭店… -你不要說了 246 00:21:12,454 --> 00:21:15,150 不是呀,少林功夫加唱歌跳舞 247 00:21:15,390 --> 00:21:16,220 你說有沒有搞頭? 248 00:21:16,458 --> 00:21:17,186 沒搞頭 249 00:21:17,425 --> 00:21:18,392 你沒做,怎麼知道沒搞頭? 250 00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:19,854 你不要做了 251 00:21:20,095 --> 00:21:22,359 我勸你要腳踏實地做人嘛 252 00:21:22,564 --> 00:21:24,862 這裡有份洗廁所工作先做著 253 00:21:25,066 --> 00:21:26,727 你就別做夢了 254 00:21:26,935 --> 00:21:30,029 做人如果沒夢想,跟咸魚有什麼分別 255 00:21:30,238 --> 00:21:33,002 你鞋子都沒有,不就是咸魚一條 256 00:21:33,175 --> 00:21:34,972 還學人家講理想? 257 00:21:35,177 --> 00:21:36,405 話不能這麼講 258 00:21:36,611 --> 00:21:39,774 我心中的一團火是不會熄的 259 00:21:40,615 --> 00:21:42,515 那就把它吹熄了,不熄? 260 00:21:42,751 --> 00:21:43,979 熄了可再點著它 261 00:21:44,186 --> 00:21:45,551 夠啦 262 00:21:45,787 --> 00:21:47,982 我有我的生活,你點你的火 263 00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:49,656 總之你不要再煩我了 264 00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:51,825 我要養家糊口呀,大哥 265 00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:54,687 當年你苦練鐵頭功 266 00:21:54,930 --> 00:21:57,364 你就忍心這麼眼巴巴的荒廢了? 267 00:21:57,632 --> 00:21:58,860 錯! 268 00:22:00,001 --> 00:22:02,299 這十幾年來我的鐵頭功… 269 00:22:02,537 --> 00:22:04,732 從來沒有一天荒廢過 270 00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:06,032 阿飛! 271 00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:07,208 老闆 272 00:22:07,943 --> 00:22:08,841 媽個巴子 273 00:22:09,044 --> 00:22:10,534 明天跳舞的妞發脾氣全跑啦 274 00:22:10,779 --> 00:22:12,406 你還在閑聊? 275 00:22:12,614 --> 00:22:15,276 不是,我想到一個好主意 276 00:22:15,483 --> 00:22:16,313 什麼主意? 277 00:22:16,518 --> 00:22:19,510 就是…少林功夫加唱歌跳舞 278 00:22:19,754 --> 00:22:20,812 什麼少林功夫? 279 00:22:21,022 --> 00:22:22,046 那邊 280 00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:28,124 就一個人?有什麼看頭? 281 00:22:28,330 --> 00:22:29,262 一個就夠了 282 00:22:29,531 --> 00:22:31,362 不行!加上你吧 283 00:22:31,566 --> 00:22:32,760 我? 284 00:22:33,902 --> 00:22:35,494 媽個巴子 285 00:22:35,704 --> 00:22:37,365 你會鐵頭功嘛 286 00:22:38,540 --> 00:22:41,304 明晚給我好好幹,不然我先幹了你 287 00:22:41,509 --> 00:22:42,601 是 288 00:22:42,878 --> 00:22:45,039 大師兄,多謝你 289 00:22:56,725 --> 00:22:58,989 少林功夫好 290 00:22:59,194 --> 00:23:01,094 真的好 291 00:23:01,296 --> 00:23:03,389 少林功夫棒 292 00:23:03,598 --> 00:23:05,532 真的棒 293 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,791 我是鐵頭功 294 00:23:08,036 --> 00:23:09,970 無敵鐵頭功 295 00:23:10,205 --> 00:23:12,196 你是金剛腿 296 00:23:12,407 --> 00:23:14,500 我是金剛腿 297 00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:20,740 認真點 298 00:23:21,583 --> 00:23:23,847 少林功夫好 299 00:23:24,052 --> 00:23:26,247 真是好 300 00:23:31,226 --> 00:23:33,285 少林功夫好 301 00:23:33,528 --> 00:23:35,223 太棒了 302 00:23:35,430 --> 00:23:37,864 少林功夫帶勁 303 00:23:38,099 --> 00:23:39,896 頂瓜瓜 304 00:23:40,101 --> 00:23:42,160 我是金剛腿 305 00:23:42,404 --> 00:23:44,065 金剛腿 306 00:23:44,239 --> 00:23:46,867 他是鐵頭功 307 00:23:49,911 --> 00:23:51,674 哇你的頭 308 00:24:24,145 --> 00:24:26,477 你們唱什麼?鬼哭野狼嚎似的 309 00:24:26,681 --> 00:24:27,978 歌詞亂七八糟的 310 00:24:28,183 --> 00:24:29,673 我一句都聽不明白 311 00:24:29,918 --> 00:24:31,249 就是,歌詞誰寫的? 312 00:24:31,453 --> 00:24:33,614 -誰寫的? -說 313 00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:39,925 其實,創作這東西是很主觀的 314 00:24:40,128 --> 00:24:42,995 不過你們的批評,我是一定會跟進的 315 00:24:43,198 --> 00:24:45,428 況且唱歌只不過是前奏而己 316 00:24:45,633 --> 00:24:49,125 高潮就是少林的大力金剛腿和鐵頭功 317 00:24:49,371 --> 00:24:50,599 鐵頭功是吧? 318 00:24:50,872 --> 00:24:52,533 早說了,這歌詞不行公頓 319 00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:54,572 我不是鐵頭功,他才是 320 00:24:54,776 --> 00:24:55,800 鐵頭功是吧? 321 00:24:56,044 --> 00:24:57,705 -都說… -鐵頭功是吧? 322 00:24:57,912 --> 00:24:58,879 金剛腿 323 00:25:00,115 --> 00:25:01,082 他才是金剛腿呀 324 00:25:01,316 --> 00:25:03,807 你還說金剛腿? 325 00:25:04,352 --> 00:25:05,284 打死你 326 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:06,612 狗屁金剛腿 327 00:25:08,156 --> 00:25:09,418 我才是金剛腿 328 00:25:11,326 --> 00:25:12,691 鐵頭功是吧? 329 00:25:12,961 --> 00:25:14,360 你聽不懂中國話,那個才是… 330 00:25:14,596 --> 00:25:15,563 鐵頭功是吧? 331 00:25:15,830 --> 00:25:17,024 你打上癮了? 332 00:25:17,232 --> 00:25:18,164 鐵… 333 00:25:18,900 --> 00:25:20,800 幹嘛,想還手? 334 00:25:23,705 --> 00:25:25,502 多謝啦… 335 00:25:25,707 --> 00:25:28,073 歡樂的時光過得特別快 336 00:25:28,276 --> 00:25:30,608 又到時候講拜拜 337 00:25:30,812 --> 00:25:33,542 大家先來聽首歌,音樂 338 00:25:33,748 --> 00:25:35,943 你媽的!還裝蒜? 339 00:25:38,853 --> 00:25:40,753 還在這兒死撐? 340 00:25:41,056 --> 00:25:43,047 多謝了… 341 00:26:44,085 --> 00:26:45,518 瘸你媽的 342 00:26:48,990 --> 00:26:50,082 幹嘛? 343 00:27:49,184 --> 00:27:50,583 走!沒什麼好看的 344 00:27:52,854 --> 00:27:56,119 你沒打夠,還想再打? 345 00:27:58,226 --> 00:28:00,558 我答應過師父不打架的 346 00:28:01,763 --> 00:28:04,732 大哥,這家伙腦部震盪過度呀 347 00:28:04,999 --> 00:28:07,058 但是你們一定要道歉 348 00:28:07,735 --> 00:28:08,531 道歉? 349 00:28:08,736 --> 00:28:11,364 我打你應該,不打你悲哀 350 00:28:30,124 --> 00:28:32,524 不要動!你說過不打架的 351 00:28:42,770 --> 00:28:46,069 我不是來打架,我是來踢球的 352 00:28:53,014 --> 00:28:55,278 我幹你的… 353 00:29:00,221 --> 00:29:01,984 用不著這麼誇張吧? 354 00:29:02,390 --> 00:29:03,516 幹什麼? 355 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,385 不好意思呀大哥,對不起 356 00:29:59,013 --> 00:30:00,571 你有帶錢在身上嗎? 357 00:30:01,649 --> 00:30:02,638 有 358 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:07,080 三毛 359 00:30:08,022 --> 00:30:08,920 這算不算搶劫? 360 00:30:09,190 --> 00:30:11,181 算,你學過螳螂拳嗎? 361 00:30:11,459 --> 00:30:12,289 研究過 362 00:30:12,493 --> 00:30:14,427 那就不要再侮辱少林武功 363 00:30:43,257 --> 00:30:44,952 介不介意把褲子拉高點 364 00:30:45,193 --> 00:30:46,854 讓我看看你的腿? 365 00:30:47,495 --> 00:30:50,987 我心情不太好,要拉你自己拉 366 00:31:01,843 --> 00:31:04,311 真是天生神力 367 00:31:10,718 --> 00:31:14,017 好一條奪命香雞腿 368 00:31:14,222 --> 00:31:17,214 是少林的大力金剛腿 369 00:31:19,527 --> 00:31:22,291 功夫真的可以用來踢球嗎? 370 00:31:23,898 --> 00:31:25,365 功夫踢球有搞頭嗎? 371 00:31:25,633 --> 00:31:26,964 有搞頭 372 00:31:28,069 --> 00:31:29,900 對呀 373 00:31:30,138 --> 00:31:32,663 功夫踢球好主意 374 00:31:32,874 --> 00:31:34,466 為什麼我一直沒想到呢? 375 00:31:34,675 --> 00:31:37,075 你不是那個瘸子? 376 00:31:37,311 --> 00:31:39,040 我不是瘸子那麼簡單 377 00:31:39,247 --> 00:31:42,080 我還是當年叱吒球壇的黃金右腳 378 00:31:42,283 --> 00:31:43,648 現在是足球教練 379 00:31:43,851 --> 00:31:45,512 那正好,你教我踢球 380 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:46,948 等一下 381 00:31:47,155 --> 00:31:48,747 還等什麼?是你說有搞頭的 382 00:31:49,023 --> 00:31:51,150 沒錯,那也要給我點時間想一想 383 00:31:51,392 --> 00:31:53,053 已經沒時間了 384 00:31:53,528 --> 00:31:56,656 太陽都下山啦,有搞頭就趕快做 385 00:31:57,031 --> 00:31:59,693 時間是不等人的 386 00:32:04,272 --> 00:32:06,069 那也要準備一下嘛 387 00:32:06,507 --> 00:32:09,271 我已經準備好啦,還差什麼? 388 00:32:10,044 --> 00:32:12,478 起碼要有一對球鞋嘛 389 00:32:17,785 --> 00:32:19,844 你現在有錢贖回你的破鞋了? 390 00:32:20,087 --> 00:32:21,452 錢還沒有,但是… 391 00:32:21,656 --> 00:32:22,645 扔掉了 392 00:32:22,924 --> 00:32:23,913 扔掉了? 393 00:32:24,192 --> 00:32:27,650 當然,你的破鞋已經破得沒法穿了 394 00:32:27,929 --> 00:32:30,397 -破是破,但是我… -你快走吧 395 00:32:30,898 --> 00:32:34,231 等一下老闆娘出來,又要罵人了 396 00:32:43,044 --> 00:32:44,102 破的鞋沒有了 397 00:32:44,345 --> 00:32:46,245 補好的有一雙,你要不要? 398 00:33:11,439 --> 00:33:13,100 大師兄,你怎麼了? 399 00:33:13,307 --> 00:33:14,831 大師兄,你沒事吧? 400 00:33:17,011 --> 00:33:18,501 我沒事 401 00:33:20,648 --> 00:33:21,672 你又想怎樣? 402 00:33:21,916 --> 00:33:22,883 我終於想到個妙計 403 00:33:23,117 --> 00:33:25,608 可以將少林武功更加發揚光大 404 00:33:26,621 --> 00:33:29,454 就是踢球 405 00:33:31,292 --> 00:33:32,657 你放我一條生路吧 406 00:33:32,860 --> 00:33:35,454 你已害我被人打,還被解雇了 407 00:33:35,696 --> 00:33:38,256 現在我要洗廁所賠錢 408 00:33:38,499 --> 00:33:39,761 所以我是來打救你的 409 00:33:39,967 --> 00:33:42,435 不用了!你還打救得不夠? 410 00:33:42,670 --> 00:33:43,830 你別逼我,是不是 411 00:33:44,005 --> 00:33:46,030 想我全家跳樓死在你面前? 412 00:33:46,274 --> 00:33:48,708 死是不能解決問題的 413 00:33:48,943 --> 00:33:49,807 你勇敢一點 414 00:33:50,011 --> 00:33:51,171 你的志氣跑哪去了? 415 00:33:51,379 --> 00:33:53,574 就當我沒志氣!就當我爛泥扶不上牆 416 00:33:53,781 --> 00:33:54,805 拜托你不要再找我 417 00:33:55,049 --> 00:33:56,949 你要找,找其他師兄弟吧 418 00:33:57,184 --> 00:34:00,984 拜托你了,求求你不要再煩我… 419 00:34:01,289 --> 00:34:02,221 我求求你啦 420 00:34:02,490 --> 00:34:04,481 鐵頭功 421 00:34:10,364 --> 00:34:11,626 四師兄,早 422 00:34:12,066 --> 00:34:12,896 星哥,早 423 00:34:13,100 --> 00:34:14,533 好久不見,有什麼好關照? 424 00:34:14,769 --> 00:34:16,634 給你介紹位猛男!這位是… 425 00:34:22,443 --> 00:34:24,138 喂,怎麼稱呼? 426 00:34:24,745 --> 00:34:25,575 叫我阿鋒行啦 427 00:34:25,780 --> 00:34:28,476 鋒哥是吧?財經界有誰不認識鋒哥? 428 00:34:28,683 --> 00:34:29,911 你看他一身的IT型式 429 00:34:30,117 --> 00:34:31,049 鋒哥是位足球教練 430 00:34:31,285 --> 00:34:32,547 足球教練是吧? 431 00:34:32,753 --> 00:34:34,186 足球界有誰不認識鋒哥的? 432 00:34:34,422 --> 00:34:35,821 我從小就看鋒哥踢球了 433 00:34:36,090 --> 00:34:37,785 你是用兩只腳踢球,對吧? 434 00:34:38,025 --> 00:34:40,357 我沒亂蓋吧,有什麼好關照? 435 00:34:40,561 --> 00:34:41,823 打算找你組隊踢球 436 00:34:42,029 --> 00:34:43,257 真的找我踢球? 437 00:34:43,464 --> 00:34:45,364 我半年沒做事了,你找我踢球? 438 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:47,329 不是,你當年的鬼影擒拿手 439 00:34:47,535 --> 00:34:48,467 如果拿來當守門員的話 440 00:34:48,703 --> 00:34:51,638 鬼屁影擒拿手?多年前的事了 441 00:34:51,839 --> 00:34:53,363 師父死了多久我都不記得了 442 00:34:53,608 --> 00:34:54,768 你聽我說 443 00:34:54,976 --> 00:34:57,035 我們這次是參加兩年一度的超級杯 444 00:34:57,278 --> 00:34:59,178 贏了有一百萬加菜金呀 445 00:34:59,380 --> 00:35:02,508 是嗎?所以我一直說你最精明能幹 446 00:35:02,717 --> 00:35:05,277 風生水起西裝革履,你看你帥的 447 00:35:05,519 --> 00:35:08,352 當年師父叫我們將少林功夫發揚光大 448 00:35:08,556 --> 00:35:10,717 現在居然讓你們兩混球發揚到足球上 449 00:35:10,958 --> 00:35:11,890 真是有見地 450 00:35:12,159 --> 00:35:13,353 你看看 451 00:35:13,594 --> 00:35:15,084 當年我們幾師兄弟的台照 452 00:35:15,363 --> 00:35:16,352 我一直擺在枕頭下面 453 00:35:16,631 --> 00:35:17,529 你就知道我是什麼… 454 00:35:17,765 --> 00:35:19,699 好啊!我們坐下來慢慢談什麼 455 00:35:21,736 --> 00:35:25,035 我有空找你們,記得叫我 456 00:35:27,241 --> 00:35:28,708 我沒空跟你說話 457 00:35:28,943 --> 00:35:30,774 幾個客人在等我,還要盯著股市 458 00:35:30,978 --> 00:35:32,411 一秒鐘幾十萬上下呢 459 00:35:32,647 --> 00:35:33,909 喂,現在什麼價位? 460 00:35:34,115 --> 00:35:35,776 碰巧今天司機放大假 461 00:35:35,983 --> 00:35:37,951 碰巧今天又把車借給人家了 462 00:35:38,185 --> 00:35:40,119 碰巧剛把錢包留在公司 463 00:35:40,354 --> 00:35:41,514 今天我請不了你吃飯啦 464 00:35:41,722 --> 00:35:42,711 我真的很忙呀 465 00:35:42,990 --> 00:35:45,288 車來了呀 466 00:35:45,526 --> 00:35:46,515 考慮一下,三師兄 467 00:35:46,794 --> 00:35:48,193 你當年的金鐘罩鐵布衫 468 00:35:48,429 --> 00:35:49,657 如果用來踢後衛 469 00:35:49,864 --> 00:35:52,628 你…你還提金鐘罩鐵布衫? 470 00:35:52,833 --> 00:35:55,267 你看看,滿天都是飛機 471 00:35:55,569 --> 00:35:57,036 滿街都是電腦 472 00:35:57,271 --> 00:35:59,296 現在什麼世界了?你醒醒吧 473 00:35:59,507 --> 00:36:02,408 所以我打算用武功配合足球搞新組台 474 00:36:02,643 --> 00:36:04,133 是呀,加菜金很吸引人的 475 00:36:04,378 --> 00:36:06,039 我靠,你當我什麼? 476 00:36:06,313 --> 00:36:07,644 我一秒鐘幾十萬上下 477 00:36:07,848 --> 00:36:09,907 無緣無故跟你們幾個廢物去踢球 478 00:36:10,151 --> 00:36:12,449 不好意恩,你知道我這個人就這麼直 479 00:36:12,653 --> 00:36:15,645 還要無緣無故跟你這死瘸子參加比賽 480 00:36:15,923 --> 00:36:17,550 請你原諒我是這麼直 481 00:36:17,792 --> 00:36:20,454 最後還要無緣無故的贏了比賽 482 00:36:20,695 --> 00:36:22,959 或然率是低過零呀 483 00:36:23,164 --> 00:36:24,096 你說的這個或然輪嘛 484 00:36:24,331 --> 00:36:26,765 你才輪!是或然率呀 485 00:36:27,034 --> 00:36:28,934 簡單來說,就是… 486 00:36:29,403 --> 00:36:31,928 要不就是公,要不就是字 487 00:36:32,173 --> 00:36:33,970 永遠沒有中間的 488 00:36:34,208 --> 00:36:36,972 中間的或然率就是零 489 00:36:37,178 --> 00:36:37,735 讓我來試試看 490 00:36:37,978 --> 00:36:39,707 你給我走 491 00:36:40,347 --> 00:36:41,746 我約了人在大酒店吃午飯 492 00:36:41,949 --> 00:36:43,109 我很忙啊 493 00:36:43,317 --> 00:36:45,649 我們倆請你吃碗雜碎面再談好了 494 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,315 我靠!我一秒鐘幾十萬… 495 00:36:48,556 --> 00:36:50,421 跟你們吃雜碎面? 496 00:37:09,043 --> 00:37:11,568 這位就是我六師弟,綽號輕功水上飄 497 00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:14,110 這位是著名足球教練鋒哥 498 00:37:15,816 --> 00:37:17,579 鋒哥,你好 499 00:37:18,352 --> 00:37:19,011 什麼飄? 500 00:37:19,220 --> 00:37:20,448 輕功水上飄 501 00:37:20,654 --> 00:37:21,985 輕先生,你好 502 00:37:22,957 --> 00:37:25,357 師兄,你要去踢球嗎? 503 00:37:25,593 --> 00:37:26,150 是呀 504 00:37:26,427 --> 00:37:29,021 如果加上你身輕如燕水上飄坐陣 505 00:37:29,263 --> 00:37:31,788 我們上中二路的攻擊可說是毫無破綻 506 00:37:32,032 --> 00:37:33,192 -你真的這麼肯定? -是 507 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,392 好,請問有沒有特效減肥藥? 508 00:37:37,171 --> 00:37:38,502 沒用的 509 00:37:38,706 --> 00:37:42,073 我是感冒茵入腦下垂,沒得減了 510 00:37:42,777 --> 00:37:46,076 自從師父去世之後,我就這麼胖 511 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,681 現在別說輕功了,想走快點都不行 512 00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:53,612 胖是胖了點,不過問題不大 513 00:37:53,821 --> 00:37:55,083 算啦 514 00:37:56,657 --> 00:37:58,625 你看看我以前的樣子 515 00:38:00,394 --> 00:38:02,123 自從變成這樣子 516 00:38:02,329 --> 00:38:03,728 連妞都泡不到 517 00:38:04,064 --> 00:38:05,691 這種心情你們不會明白的 518 00:38:05,900 --> 00:38:07,731 我明白,我又何嘗不是呢? 519 00:38:07,935 --> 00:38:09,095 不是呀 520 00:38:09,303 --> 00:38:11,032 報紙雜誌說你很多女朋友 521 00:38:11,205 --> 00:38:12,229 什麼報紙雜誌? 522 00:38:12,473 --> 00:38:14,532 對不起,我又說錯話了 523 00:38:15,209 --> 00:38:18,110 自從有了這個病之後,我經常失控 524 00:38:19,780 --> 00:38:21,270 你不用管我,你走吧 525 00:38:22,850 --> 00:38:23,908 師弟 526 00:38:25,419 --> 00:38:28,411 給自己點信心,你行的 527 00:38:29,023 --> 00:38:30,513 現在大家都叫我豬肥膘 528 00:38:30,791 --> 00:38:32,588 只有你叫我師弟 529 00:38:36,463 --> 00:38:37,395 謝謝 530 00:38:37,665 --> 00:38:40,429 豬肥膘,幫我把上面紅色廁紙拿下來 531 00:38:44,839 --> 00:38:46,170 是紅色那卷 532 00:39:08,729 --> 00:39:09,661 踢球? 533 00:39:09,897 --> 00:39:10,829 是呀,二師兄 534 00:39:11,065 --> 00:39:14,193 你當年的旋風地堂腿如果用來做後衛 535 00:39:14,401 --> 00:39:15,299 我敢肯定 536 00:39:15,569 --> 00:39:16,831 毫無破綻嘛 537 00:39:17,004 --> 00:39:17,698 沒錯 538 00:39:17,905 --> 00:39:21,033 看我現在這德性,還是旋風地堂腿嗎 539 00:39:21,842 --> 00:39:23,503 生疏一點點沒關係 540 00:39:23,711 --> 00:39:26,441 只要有鬥志,武功一定會回來的 541 00:39:26,647 --> 00:39:27,909 是嗎? 542 00:39:28,682 --> 00:39:31,082 不過前陣子我看見你還在洗馬桶 543 00:39:31,318 --> 00:39:33,582 怎麼好好的又轉做洗碗呢? 544 00:39:33,787 --> 00:39:34,981 為什麼? 545 00:39:35,322 --> 00:39:37,790 這個問題我也想問,我也不明白 546 00:39:38,058 --> 00:39:40,526 為什麼我老爸不是李嘉誠? 547 00:39:41,028 --> 00:39:44,156 為什麼我長得這麼帥,但要掉頭髮? 548 00:39:44,365 --> 00:39:47,198 你們倆長這麼丑,就不掉頭髮? 549 00:39:47,401 --> 00:39:49,164 為什麼人家小時候有書讀 550 00:39:49,370 --> 00:39:50,803 而我小時候就要被我老爸 551 00:39:51,005 --> 00:39:52,267 逼我練什麼爛鬼武功? 552 00:39:52,473 --> 00:39:56,034 練到現在洗馬桶!洗碗!? 553 00:39:56,610 --> 00:39:58,009 師兄,你冷靜一點 554 00:39:58,245 --> 00:40:00,645 其實命運是掌握在自己手中的 555 00:40:00,848 --> 00:40:02,839 冷靜?如果不夠冷靜 556 00:40:03,083 --> 00:40:05,449 我一刀砍死你們兩個王八蛋了 557 00:40:06,620 --> 00:40:08,087 冷靜? 558 00:40:09,623 --> 00:40:11,488 媽個巴子!這麼有空坐著 559 00:40:11,692 --> 00:40:12,989 聞到臭不臭呀? 560 00:40:13,193 --> 00:40:15,593 會回來還有臭味,你給我舔乾淨 561 00:40:56,403 --> 00:40:58,268 這個地方不錯呀 562 00:40:58,639 --> 00:41:00,630 五髒俱全呢 563 00:41:01,208 --> 00:41:02,971 想不到你這個垃圾佬 564 00:41:03,277 --> 00:41:07,304 居然可以在五十九樓天台住“閣樓” 565 00:41:07,548 --> 00:41:10,016 好有生活品味呀 566 00:41:10,250 --> 00:41:13,447 現在這種單位很搶手的 567 00:41:13,654 --> 00:41:15,849 我找了很久都找不到 568 00:41:16,223 --> 00:41:19,124 就是這個冷氣槽有點吵 569 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:20,850 沒關係 570 00:41:21,128 --> 00:41:24,256 在你這兒多隔個房間行不行? 571 00:41:38,012 --> 00:41:39,343 算啦 572 00:41:39,546 --> 00:41:41,878 你那些師兄弟沒個像樣的 573 00:41:42,082 --> 00:41:44,915 不來就算啦,再找其他人吧 574 00:41:45,119 --> 00:41:47,883 都怪我不好,說不動他們 575 00:41:48,188 --> 00:41:49,712 不要這麼說了 576 00:41:50,090 --> 00:41:52,490 你這麼信任我這個瘸子 577 00:41:52,726 --> 00:41:54,216 我很感謝你 578 00:42:56,690 --> 00:42:58,157 我會在最短的時間裡 579 00:42:58,425 --> 00:43:00,359 將你們訓練成為足球員 580 00:43:00,594 --> 00:43:03,893 所以你們要嚴肅認真,團結向上 581 00:43:04,098 --> 00:43:05,156 明白啦 582 00:43:05,599 --> 00:43:06,657 踢球 583 00:43:13,841 --> 00:43:15,672 你聽我說好不好? 584 00:43:15,876 --> 00:43:18,310 你站在我的立場,你會怎麼樣? 585 00:43:18,545 --> 00:43:20,536 就是嘛 586 00:43:20,781 --> 00:43:22,248 等等,我有電話進來 587 00:43:22,483 --> 00:43:24,678 球掉下來啦 588 00:43:31,725 --> 00:43:32,714 你終於下來了嗎? 589 00:43:32,993 --> 00:43:36,019 讓我們等了一個多小時 590 00:43:38,565 --> 00:43:39,998 幹什麼呀? 591 00:43:40,267 --> 00:43:41,325 踢球 592 00:43:41,568 --> 00:43:43,627 球在那邊呀 593 00:43:49,743 --> 00:43:51,438 你,站過來 594 00:43:52,479 --> 00:43:54,470 你在這兒踢球給我看看 595 00:43:55,015 --> 00:43:55,674 可是球在那邊 596 00:43:55,883 --> 00:43:57,612 就是嘛,你也知道球在那邊 597 00:43:57,818 --> 00:44:00,946 你連球都沒拿到,踢什麼呀? 598 00:44:02,289 --> 00:44:04,484 其實踢球不外乎四個基本 599 00:44:04,725 --> 00:44:06,420 傳,停,帶,射 600 00:44:06,660 --> 00:44:08,093 我明白!你別動! 601 00:44:09,329 --> 00:44:11,092 你們要從基本做起 602 00:44:12,132 --> 00:44:13,531 你的 603 00:44:16,270 --> 00:44:17,498 控制住 604 00:44:17,704 --> 00:44:18,671 集中精神 605 00:44:18,906 --> 00:44:24,640 交!交!帶球! 606 00:44:24,845 --> 00:44:25,869 你要走位才行呀 607 00:44:26,113 --> 00:44:27,341 這些假動作可以再假點… 608 00:44:27,548 --> 00:44:29,448 你就差不多了,挺假的 609 00:44:30,450 --> 00:44:33,146 假點,再假點 610 00:44:33,820 --> 00:44:35,811 教練,為什麼不讓我練球? 611 00:44:36,223 --> 00:44:37,417 你的腳力太大 612 00:44:37,658 --> 00:44:40,218 因為你做不到收放自如 613 00:44:40,494 --> 00:44:42,018 每次都把球踢上天 614 00:44:42,296 --> 00:44:44,230 萬一把飛機打下來你賠得起嗎? 615 00:44:44,498 --> 00:44:46,295 -賠不起 -就是嘛 616 00:44:46,500 --> 00:44:48,832 肥仔聰,借你的雞蛋用用 617 00:44:49,036 --> 00:44:49,900 什麼? 618 00:44:50,237 --> 00:44:53,434 你能將雞蛋像控球那樣控好再說吧 619 00:44:53,607 --> 00:44:55,268 好呀,來!來 620 00:44:57,277 --> 00:44:59,006 有難度的 621 00:45:07,721 --> 00:45:10,588 靠!算了吧,六師弟 622 00:45:15,729 --> 00:45:18,630 我的蛋!我的蛋… 623 00:45:18,832 --> 00:45:20,527 總有一天,我把蛋還給你的 624 00:45:20,734 --> 00:45:22,201 還你的頭! 625 00:45:22,436 --> 00:45:23,835 把蛋還給我 626 00:45:24,004 --> 00:45:25,904 不要分心,繼續 627 00:45:30,277 --> 00:45:32,142 蛋呀! 628 00:45:47,694 --> 00:45:49,423 前面!對… 629 00:45:49,630 --> 00:45:51,564 很好… 630 00:45:53,367 --> 00:45:55,562 接著! 631 00:46:26,933 --> 00:46:29,026 對… 632 00:46:29,269 --> 00:46:32,966 很好… 633 00:46:40,781 --> 00:46:45,275 好!去! 634 00:47:03,036 --> 00:47:04,264 防守的要釘緊一點! 635 00:47:04,438 --> 00:47:06,497 不能讓人射球! 636 00:47:07,007 --> 00:47:08,474 射的那個用點力呀! 637 00:47:08,709 --> 00:47:10,540 我也擋到啦! 638 00:47:51,818 --> 00:47:53,149 真厲害 639 00:47:53,420 --> 00:47:56,014 他一個人踢就行了 640 00:47:57,324 --> 00:48:01,158 足球,不是一個人就可以踢的 641 00:48:11,138 --> 00:48:14,630 比賽三十分鐘,中場沒休息 642 00:48:14,875 --> 00:48:16,775 一切依足國際球例 643 00:48:17,010 --> 00:48:19,240 我做球証,大家沒意見吧? 644 00:48:19,446 --> 00:48:21,880 不要傻了,當年人稱黃金右腳的鋒哥 645 00:48:22,115 --> 00:48:24,345 今天帶些年青人來跟我們踢場友誼賽 646 00:48:24,551 --> 00:48:27,418 你還做球証,是我們的榮幸 647 00:48:27,687 --> 00:48:28,585 大家叫鋒哥! 648 00:48:28,822 --> 00:48:29,686 鋒哥! 649 00:48:29,923 --> 00:48:30,912 好了… 650 00:48:31,191 --> 00:48:34,388 這個年青人之前和你的隊員有點衝撞 651 00:48:34,628 --> 00:48:37,529 所以打算踢一場球賽,切磋一下球技 652 00:48:37,764 --> 00:48:39,493 以前的恩怨就一筆勾消吧 653 00:48:39,699 --> 00:48:41,098 他們很有誠意的 654 00:48:41,334 --> 00:48:43,894 從他們整齊的製服、友善的眼神 655 00:48:44,104 --> 00:48:47,369 我完全感受到那份誠意和體育精神 656 00:48:47,574 --> 00:48:48,666 多謝! 657 00:48:51,545 --> 00:48:52,569 大家不要緊張 658 00:48:52,813 --> 00:48:54,678 我本身是一個汽車維修員 659 00:48:54,881 --> 00:48:57,782 這個扳子是我用來上螺絲用的 660 00:48:57,984 --> 00:48:58,882 很合理吧? 661 00:48:59,119 --> 00:49:00,643 是呀 662 00:49:03,290 --> 00:49:04,587 正如我剛才所說 663 00:49:04,825 --> 00:49:06,656 我身為一個汽車維修員 664 00:49:06,860 --> 00:49:08,760 有個錘子在身邊也很合邏輯 665 00:49:08,995 --> 00:49:10,929 行了…你們球隊的作風 666 00:49:11,164 --> 00:49:12,688 在業餘界是很出名的 667 00:49:12,966 --> 00:49:14,331 我完全明白 668 00:49:14,768 --> 00:49:16,599 那些只是虛名而己 669 00:49:16,803 --> 00:49:17,895 就好像浮雲一樣 670 00:49:18,104 --> 00:49:20,971 好了…大伙小心點 671 00:49:21,174 --> 00:49:22,300 大家握握手 672 00:49:51,037 --> 00:49:51,935 好球! 673 00:50:39,252 --> 00:50:41,152 救命… 674 00:51:49,322 --> 00:51:50,687 三師兄! 675 00:52:17,951 --> 00:52:20,818 呼叫基地,突然間受到密集火力攻擊 676 00:52:21,021 --> 00:52:21,953 要求馬上增援… 677 00:52:22,188 --> 00:52:23,678 要求馬上增援! 678 00:52:36,369 --> 00:52:37,734 起來 679 00:52:39,439 --> 00:52:40,531 起來! 680 00:52:40,774 --> 00:52:42,036 快點起來! 681 00:52:42,976 --> 00:52:44,443 快點起來! 682 00:52:45,945 --> 00:52:47,276 你幹什麼? 683 00:52:47,781 --> 00:52:48,304 他們賴皮呀,教練 684 00:52:48,548 --> 00:52:49,515 快點吹哨呀! 685 00:52:49,749 --> 00:52:51,580 我是球証,我不吹 686 00:52:51,785 --> 00:52:54,720 那是什麼意思?要我們去送死嗎? 687 00:52:55,455 --> 00:52:57,184 你,出場! 688 00:52:58,692 --> 00:53:00,159 你瘋啦 689 00:53:03,363 --> 00:53:04,796 這是一個考驗 690 00:53:05,065 --> 00:53:06,589 如果他們連這一關都過不了 691 00:53:06,833 --> 00:53:08,391 以後就不要再說踢球啦 692 00:53:08,635 --> 00:53:11,399 這不過是踢球,你以為打仗嗎? 693 00:53:12,138 --> 00:53:15,869 真正的比賽,就是打仗 694 00:53:23,883 --> 00:53:26,818 投降啦!投降啦! 695 00:53:27,687 --> 00:53:32,852 投降啦!我投降啦! 696 00:53:41,067 --> 00:53:43,228 我投降啦! 697 00:53:43,436 --> 00:53:44,835 你敢來找我比賽 698 00:53:45,004 --> 00:53:46,767 現在還沒進球你就想撤退 699 00:53:46,973 --> 00:53:48,372 這不是惹我發火嗎? 700 00:53:51,144 --> 00:53:55,410 我不行了,我的腰快斷了 701 00:53:55,615 --> 00:53:57,583 我求你可憐可憐我 702 00:53:58,651 --> 00:54:00,516 讓我去看醫生 703 00:54:07,026 --> 00:54:08,516 戴頭上 704 00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:13,193 幾十歲的人,你看你多賤 705 00:54:13,466 --> 00:54:15,331 你沒尊嚴? 706 00:54:15,668 --> 00:54:16,896 我不想看見你 707 00:54:17,103 --> 00:54:19,401 快點戴上它,然後去看醫生 708 00:54:30,683 --> 00:54:37,020 我是很賤,我沒尊嚴,拿來 709 00:55:11,457 --> 00:55:13,049 大師兄回來了 710 00:55:14,327 --> 00:55:15,726 你說什麼? 711 00:55:16,029 --> 00:55:19,658 我感覺到,全都回來了 712 00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:33,861 -還有沒有傢伙? -沒有 713 00:57:33,869 --> 00:57:34,858 幹掉他們! 714 00:58:07,903 --> 00:58:09,393 這都不進 715 00:58:10,272 --> 00:58:13,241 救命啊 716 00:58:13,441 --> 00:58:16,740 全靠你,我們才有發揮的機會 717 00:58:17,412 --> 00:58:19,812 歡迎各位師兄弟歸位! 718 00:58:20,048 --> 00:58:21,310 謝謝你 719 00:58:24,986 --> 00:58:26,419 你們不用客氣 720 00:58:26,655 --> 00:58:29,180 我要謝謝你們大家 721 00:58:29,591 --> 00:58:35,029 這次我發財啦!多謝… 722 00:58:35,297 --> 00:58:37,629 我們認輸了,求求給次機會 723 00:58:37,833 --> 00:58:38,765 讓我們加入你的球隊 724 00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:40,831 求求你啦… 725 00:58:41,036 --> 00:58:47,703 給次機會… 726 00:59:57,145 --> 00:59:59,045 這麼驚人的爆炸力 727 00:59:59,247 --> 01:00:02,341 魔鬼隊拿世界冠軍是早晚的事 728 01:00:08,623 --> 01:00:10,147 你說誰? 729 01:00:11,259 --> 01:00:12,487 死瘸子? 730 01:00:12,727 --> 01:00:14,661 -為什麼不可以? -不好意恩,先生 731 01:00:14,930 --> 01:00:16,830 小妹妹,我踢球時你還沒出生呢 732 01:00:17,032 --> 01:00:19,227 -什麼不好意恩? -我們負責人不在 733 01:00:19,434 --> 01:00:20,401 黃金右腳! 734 01:00:20,669 --> 01:00:21,693 你又在這裡呀? 735 01:00:21,937 --> 01:00:23,302 -雄哥! -雄哥,他… 736 01:00:23,471 --> 01:00:24,267 行了… 737 01:00:24,472 --> 01:00:26,633 雄哥,我想帶我的球隊來參賽 738 01:00:26,841 --> 01:00:29,275 公開賽嘛,人人都有權參賽的 739 01:00:29,511 --> 01:00:30,739 不是人人都有權 740 01:00:30,946 --> 01:00:32,208 我是委員會主席 741 01:00:32,447 --> 01:00:34,813 我說有權,你才有權 742 01:00:35,050 --> 01:00:36,642 -明白嗎? -明白 743 01:00:36,885 --> 01:00:38,284 你那隊是什麼隊? 744 01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:40,847 來,過來… 745 01:00:41,089 --> 01:00:42,215 叫雄哥 746 01:00:42,757 --> 01:00:45,749 雄哥! 747 01:00:59,841 --> 01:01:01,308 這隊簡直是極品啊! 748 01:01:01,543 --> 01:01:03,101 我真的很想看看 749 01:01:03,578 --> 01:01:04,806 什麼名堂? 750 01:01:05,013 --> 01:01:06,640 這隊叫少林足… 751 01:01:06,881 --> 01:01:08,314 隨便… 752 01:01:08,550 --> 01:01:10,814 你快去報名,我真的很想見識一下 753 01:01:11,019 --> 01:01:12,418 有沒有報名費?我來付 754 01:01:12,620 --> 01:01:13,951 多謝,多謝 755 01:01:14,255 --> 01:01:18,487 無所謂,我和你是兄弟嘛,死瘸子 756 01:01:20,295 --> 01:01:22,058 我的鞋又有點髒了 757 01:01:23,431 --> 01:01:25,262 白色容易髒 758 01:01:25,467 --> 01:01:27,025 那應該怎麼辦呢? 759 01:01:27,502 --> 01:01:29,265 我幫你擦… 760 01:01:29,471 --> 01:01:31,336 清潔我拿手,讓我來 761 01:01:31,906 --> 01:01:32,895 粗活我來… 762 01:01:33,141 --> 01:01:34,904 讓我來… 763 01:01:59,701 --> 01:02:00,725 嗨 764 01:02:05,774 --> 01:02:07,105 你幹嘛? 765 01:02:07,308 --> 01:02:08,400 你是誰? 766 01:02:13,715 --> 01:02:14,977 你要帶我去哪? 767 01:02:15,583 --> 01:02:20,316 你幹嘛不講話?我回去了 768 01:02:27,495 --> 01:02:28,189 怎麼這麼久? 769 01:02:28,430 --> 01:02:31,490 對不起,等一下就好,很快 770 01:03:03,331 --> 01:03:04,161 試試看 771 01:03:04,365 --> 01:03:06,765 不…我是看用什麼材料他的 772 01:03:07,001 --> 01:03:08,332 那摸摸看 773 01:03:08,570 --> 01:03:09,798 會把它弄髒的 774 01:03:10,004 --> 01:03:11,596 -沒關係,來 -不… 775 01:03:11,806 --> 01:03:14,297 -摸吧,來… -不用了 776 01:03:17,145 --> 01:03:20,012 -怎麼樣? -挺滑的 777 01:03:20,215 --> 01:03:23,776 -我送給你 -摸了就可以了 778 01:03:25,053 --> 01:03:28,386 我告訴你,我明天要去踢足球了 779 01:03:28,590 --> 01:03:29,648 是嗎? 780 01:03:29,891 --> 01:03:32,451 我一定會紅透半邊天的 781 01:03:33,194 --> 01:03:36,561 但如果當時沒有你幫我把這雙鞋補好 782 01:03:36,798 --> 01:03:38,698 可能我就不會踢球了 783 01:03:39,167 --> 01:03:41,931 你對我多重要,你知道嗎? 784 01:03:43,338 --> 01:03:44,965 你喜歡什麼全告訴我 785 01:03:45,206 --> 01:03:46,969 我很快就可以送給你了 786 01:03:50,578 --> 01:03:54,514 你要是紅了,就送我一雙球鞋吧 787 01:03:55,150 --> 01:03:57,345 這個太沒問題了 788 01:03:57,552 --> 01:04:00,521 但是我覺得你也應該有點自信 789 01:04:00,922 --> 01:04:03,618 其實你很漂亮的,武功又高強 790 01:04:03,825 --> 01:04:05,224 簡直是完美呀 791 01:04:05,460 --> 01:04:08,918 但是你不要老把頭髮擋住自己嘛 792 01:04:09,898 --> 01:04:10,887 來… 793 01:04:11,432 --> 01:04:14,230 -來吧,看著我… -不要… 794 01:04:14,435 --> 01:04:16,335 看著我 795 01:04:16,704 --> 01:04:19,798 你看,多漂亮 796 01:04:20,742 --> 01:04:21,970 真的嗎? 797 01:04:22,177 --> 01:04:23,576 真的嗎? 798 01:04:29,250 --> 01:04:30,080 是蒼蠅嗎? 799 01:04:30,285 --> 01:04:32,253 是,還沒打到 800 01:04:32,654 --> 01:04:33,382 打到了嗎? 801 01:04:33,588 --> 01:04:34,987 打到了 802 01:04:35,290 --> 01:04:36,723 對不起,把你的手都弄髒了 803 01:04:36,958 --> 01:04:38,084 沒事 804 01:04:38,359 --> 01:04:41,226 你是最漂亮的,知道嗎? 805 01:04:43,364 --> 01:04:44,388 你知道嗎? 806 01:04:44,666 --> 01:04:45,598 知道,知道了 807 01:04:45,833 --> 01:04:47,960 我真的很感謝你呀 808 01:04:48,203 --> 01:04:49,864 你知道嗎? 809 01:04:51,973 --> 01:04:52,905 你去哪啦? 810 01:04:53,141 --> 01:04:56,110 你答應幫我洗地,才讓你帶妞來威風 811 01:04:56,344 --> 01:04:58,710 別看那麼久,背黑鍋了,快幹活 812 01:04:58,913 --> 01:05:01,279 你先走吧,我再找你 813 01:05:01,649 --> 01:05:02,741 好吧? 814 01:05:08,156 --> 01:05:11,683 要有自信,你是最好的,知道嗎? 815 01:05:16,531 --> 01:05:17,429 我喜歡你的衣服呀 816 01:05:17,632 --> 01:05:18,462 我喜歡你的襪子 817 01:05:18,666 --> 01:05:19,894 -不如我們交換穿 -好… 818 01:05:20,101 --> 01:05:21,534 別玩啦臭小魚,沒見過大場面嗎? 819 01:05:21,803 --> 01:05:23,771 放鬆點,就像平時練球一樣就行了 820 01:05:23,972 --> 01:05:25,872 一會兒會有很多觀眾和記者 821 01:05:26,107 --> 01:05:27,199 對記者,記著要笑 822 01:05:27,442 --> 01:05:28,466 讓他們給我們拍照 823 01:05:28,710 --> 01:05:31,907 和群眾熱情打招呼,多謝大家的支援 824 01:05:32,113 --> 01:05:36,743 多謝… 825 01:05:36,985 --> 01:05:37,883 多謝! 826 01:05:38,086 --> 01:05:39,917 多謝你們的支援! 827 01:05:40,121 --> 01:05:40,849 多謝! 828 01:05:41,055 --> 01:05:41,919 是掃地的 829 01:05:42,123 --> 01:05:43,522 掃地的不是觀眾嗎? 830 01:05:43,758 --> 01:05:45,157 多謝你們! 831 01:05:45,426 --> 01:05:47,917 不要吵啦! 832 01:05:49,230 --> 01:05:50,720 這場子這麼小還空空的,你不是說… 833 01:05:50,999 --> 01:05:52,398 外圍賽是這樣的啦 834 01:05:52,634 --> 01:05:55,159 所以我們要努力,踢入決賽 835 01:05:55,403 --> 01:06:00,363 -好!踢入決賽! -不要吵啦! 836 01:06:06,581 --> 01:06:09,141 少林足球隊… 837 01:06:13,121 --> 01:06:14,952 看這個,看這個 838 01:06:18,559 --> 01:06:20,493 看那個,看那個 839 01:06:23,631 --> 01:06:24,893 幹什麼? 840 01:06:25,566 --> 01:06:26,726 不能抽煙? 841 01:06:41,182 --> 01:06:42,581 幹什麼? 842 01:06:44,319 --> 01:06:46,879 沒理由,是幻覺 843 01:06:55,129 --> 01:06:56,562 你幹什麼? 844 01:06:59,334 --> 01:07:01,393 不用怕,全是幻覺 845 01:07:01,636 --> 01:07:03,763 看來我們豆腐金剛隊要出真功夫了 846 01:07:03,971 --> 01:07:04,938 好! 847 01:07:08,409 --> 01:07:10,172 你又幹什麼? 848 01:07:17,318 --> 01:07:21,687 你們不要這樣,我想踢球啊 849 01:07:25,293 --> 01:07:26,726 雄哥,電話 850 01:07:31,265 --> 01:07:34,757 都是幻覺,嚇不倒我 851 01:08:09,103 --> 01:08:11,594 什麼?四十比零! 852 01:08:21,549 --> 01:08:23,039 好棒啊 853 01:08:38,699 --> 01:08:42,533 進吧!鐵頭功啊! 854 01:09:17,472 --> 01:09:19,337 沒錯,我們學的是少林武功 855 01:09:19,540 --> 01:09:21,940 少林武功的確是棒 856 01:09:22,176 --> 01:09:23,165 -我們很低調的… -還有… 857 01:09:23,411 --> 01:09:24,878 我要多謝我的父母和師父 858 01:09:25,112 --> 01:09:26,170 雖然他們已經過身了 859 01:09:26,414 --> 01:09:28,814 我還要多謝我的好朋友阿梅 860 01:09:29,050 --> 01:09:30,813 阿梅…是我呀,阿梅 861 01:09:31,152 --> 01:09:33,814 你怎麼樣?吃了飯沒有? 862 01:09:44,365 --> 01:09:46,299 靚女,找我呀? 863 01:09:46,567 --> 01:09:47,295 我想… 864 01:09:47,502 --> 01:09:50,630 不用說了,放心交給我吧 865 01:09:59,547 --> 01:10:00,445 可不可以現場給我們觀眾作秀一下? 866 01:10:00,648 --> 01:10:02,013 可以…肥仔聰! 867 01:10:03,050 --> 01:10:04,415 1、2、3! 868 01:10:05,186 --> 01:10:06,949 好! 869 01:10:07,154 --> 01:10:09,145 能不能再來一次? 870 01:10:09,423 --> 01:10:13,325 -再來一次 -可以大師兄,來… 871 01:10:27,341 --> 01:10:29,707 慢點,慢點,不用急 872 01:10:32,980 --> 01:10:35,448 各位師兄弟,從今天開始 873 01:10:35,683 --> 01:10:38,743 我們要跟這堆爛鞋講拜拜 874 01:10:43,491 --> 01:10:44,583 你們不要亂扔東西好不好? 875 01:10:44,859 --> 01:10:46,918 對不起… 876 01:10:54,135 --> 01:10:55,466 阿梅? 877 01:10:55,670 --> 01:10:57,103 幹嘛? 878 01:10:58,205 --> 01:11:00,435 你今天好精靈呀 879 01:11:02,510 --> 01:11:03,841 少許吧 880 01:11:04,045 --> 01:11:06,240 不少了,好厲害呀 881 01:11:08,215 --> 01:11:09,409 好看嗎? 882 01:11:09,617 --> 01:11:10,641 告訴你一個好消息 883 01:11:10,851 --> 01:11:12,819 我們贏了球賽,你知道嗎? 884 01:11:13,020 --> 01:11:16,080 我知道,在電視上都看到你們了 885 01:11:16,424 --> 01:11:17,755 恭喜你 886 01:11:18,759 --> 01:11:19,953 送給你 887 01:11:27,134 --> 01:11:28,294 謝謝你 888 01:11:28,502 --> 01:11:30,595 我先介紹我的朋友給你,來 889 01:11:31,205 --> 01:11:32,194 嘩!好厲害! 890 01:11:32,540 --> 01:11:34,405 給你們介紹一個朋友 891 01:11:35,776 --> 01:11:36,743 你是人還是鬼? 892 01:11:36,944 --> 01:11:38,912 她是自己人來的 893 01:11:39,580 --> 01:11:41,343 -嫂子是吧? -不是 894 01:11:41,549 --> 01:11:44,541 我常跟你們說,做太極饅頭的阿梅呀 895 01:11:44,752 --> 01:11:45,946 就是她 896 01:11:46,153 --> 01:11:47,381 嫂子是極品呀 897 01:11:47,588 --> 01:11:48,384 她真是極品呀 898 01:11:48,589 --> 01:11:50,181 看得出來 899 01:11:50,391 --> 01:11:53,360 整塊床板放在肩上,我從來沒見過 900 01:11:54,295 --> 01:11:55,785 我花兩個晚上才做兩塊 901 01:11:56,030 --> 01:11:57,463 兩塊呀 902 01:11:59,300 --> 01:12:01,996 這麼晚了,你不要把嫂子帶出來嘛 903 01:12:02,203 --> 01:12:03,636 把人家都嚇死了 904 01:12:04,639 --> 01:12:05,537 不怕 905 01:12:05,740 --> 01:12:07,901 做場法事,我想沒事吧 906 01:12:08,643 --> 01:12:11,510 穩當點,把她綁起來扔下海算了 907 01:12:11,746 --> 01:12:12,838 你以後不吃魚了? 908 01:12:14,415 --> 01:12:16,212 你們不要取笑,她是女孩子呀 909 01:12:16,417 --> 01:12:18,385 沒關係…隨便… 910 01:12:19,887 --> 01:12:22,185 她雖然是女孩子,但挺能玩的 911 01:12:24,325 --> 01:12:26,919 阿梅,擺個性感姿勢給大家看看 912 01:12:33,567 --> 01:12:35,000 還有沒有? 913 01:12:43,811 --> 01:12:45,472 幹嘛?別碰我 914 01:12:49,517 --> 01:12:50,745 生氣了? 915 01:12:52,086 --> 01:12:53,644 沒生氣 916 01:12:55,322 --> 01:12:56,254 那你… 917 01:13:02,663 --> 01:13:04,062 對不起 918 01:13:05,466 --> 01:13:06,865 開開玩笑嘛 919 01:13:07,068 --> 01:13:09,434 我知道,開玩笑嘛 920 01:13:10,538 --> 01:13:12,665 對不起,真的,我沒什麼 921 01:13:12,873 --> 01:13:14,306 你不要這樣子嘛 922 01:13:14,508 --> 01:13:16,533 那你為什麼要這樣? 923 01:13:25,853 --> 01:13:27,320 你不要再碰我 924 01:13:27,922 --> 01:13:29,321 老闆娘… 925 01:13:29,590 --> 01:13:32,957 你搞什麼鬼?我剛出去打一會麻將… 926 01:13:33,194 --> 01:13:36,595 你看你把自己搞得人不像人鬼不像鬼 927 01:13:36,831 --> 01:13:39,322 你要不要臉啊?你害不害臊啊? 928 01:13:39,567 --> 01:13:41,034 夠了 929 01:13:42,203 --> 01:13:44,637 阿梅喜歡怎樣有她自己的權利 930 01:13:44,805 --> 01:13:47,069 你…你可以尊重別人嗎? 931 01:13:47,274 --> 01:13:49,174 我覺得她今天很漂亮 932 01:13:50,044 --> 01:13:51,136 你說她不漂亮? 933 01:13:51,345 --> 01:13:52,607 你不要太過份 934 01:13:54,415 --> 01:13:56,246 我罵她關你們什麼事? 935 01:13:56,450 --> 01:13:58,281 你們是什麼狗東西? 936 01:13:58,719 --> 01:14:00,482 他們是我的朋友 937 01:14:03,457 --> 01:14:05,721 他們說的也是我想說的 938 01:14:08,829 --> 01:14:11,195 我覺得我現在很漂亮 939 01:14:12,166 --> 01:14:14,760 我也很喜歡我現在這個樣子 940 01:14:16,303 --> 01:14:20,535 你要是不喜歡看的話,你可以走開 941 01:14:22,376 --> 01:14:24,776 你知不知道自己在跟誰說話? 942 01:14:25,880 --> 01:14:27,745 我在跟你說話 943 01:14:28,916 --> 01:14:31,180 你是個沒有人情味的老闆娘 944 01:14:31,385 --> 01:14:32,317 他媽的 945 01:14:34,722 --> 01:14:37,047 你…你敢打我?你… 946 01:14:45,866 --> 01:14:47,299 你造反啦你! 947 01:14:47,535 --> 01:14:49,469 你以為自己是誰? 948 01:14:51,772 --> 01:14:53,069 我就是我 949 01:14:53,274 --> 01:14:55,299 我是阿梅! 950 01:14:55,676 --> 01:14:58,110 我…我告訴你媽去! 951 01:15:03,884 --> 01:15:05,408 阿梅,好 952 01:15:05,619 --> 01:15:08,452 阿梅,我們只是開玩笑,你別見怪 953 01:15:08,656 --> 01:15:12,615 你剛才那個姿勢好漂亮呀 954 01:15:16,931 --> 01:15:17,898 真的嗎? 955 01:15:26,240 --> 01:15:27,730 我覺得… 956 01:15:28,108 --> 01:15:30,167 我今天特別不像以前的阿梅 957 01:15:30,377 --> 01:15:31,366 是呀 958 01:15:31,579 --> 01:15:35,538 現在的阿梅已是一個很有自信的女孩 959 01:15:42,256 --> 01:15:43,848 我想跟你說件事 960 01:15:44,058 --> 01:15:45,286 什麼事? 961 01:15:47,294 --> 01:15:48,454 我喜歡你 962 01:15:48,729 --> 01:15:50,162 我也喜歡你呀 963 01:15:53,400 --> 01:15:55,698 那我們之間是愛情嗎? 964 01:15:59,306 --> 01:16:00,603 你… 965 01:16:01,342 --> 01:16:03,105 你是開玩笑吧? 966 01:16:03,644 --> 01:16:07,546 我是認真問你,真的 967 01:16:08,415 --> 01:16:10,280 那當然不是愛情 968 01:16:14,855 --> 01:16:17,722 我們永遠都是好朋友嘛 969 01:16:18,525 --> 01:16:20,390 那不是更好嗎? 970 01:16:20,828 --> 01:16:22,295 沒什麼 971 01:16:29,770 --> 01:16:35,208 那…你以後也可以常常來找我 972 01:16:35,876 --> 01:16:38,640 鞋子破了,我還可以幫你補 973 01:16:38,846 --> 01:16:42,441 不用了,鞋子破了,我就把它扔掉 974 01:16:42,683 --> 01:16:45,174 我們都要向前看嘛 975 01:16:45,519 --> 01:16:48,386 我永遠都不要再穿破鞋子了 976 01:16:57,097 --> 01:16:58,587 你不要這樣子 977 01:16:59,900 --> 01:17:01,834 幹嘛?你哭了? 978 01:17:03,704 --> 01:17:05,365 你不要這樣子 979 01:17:17,518 --> 01:17:18,985 我明白了 980 01:17:20,788 --> 01:17:22,255 謝謝你 981 01:17:25,459 --> 01:17:28,189 來來來,大家一塊喝酒吧 982 01:17:28,429 --> 01:17:29,487 嫂子,你今天好漂亮 983 01:17:29,730 --> 01:17:31,061 來,乾杯 984 01:17:38,472 --> 01:17:40,633 贏了這一場,我們就打入決賽 985 01:17:40,841 --> 01:17:41,637 決賽 986 01:17:41,842 --> 01:17:43,036 千萬不要輕敵 987 01:17:43,243 --> 01:17:44,642 輕敵 988 01:17:48,415 --> 01:17:51,543 我們玉面雙飛龍可不是浪得虛名的 989 01:17:51,785 --> 01:17:53,980 想入決賽,先問我們 990 01:18:03,097 --> 01:18:04,428 有沒有這麼快呀? 991 01:18:04,631 --> 01:18:06,428 吊鋼絲是吧? 992 01:19:25,946 --> 01:19:26,935 雄哥,早 993 01:19:27,548 --> 01:19:28,378 早! 994 01:19:28,582 --> 01:19:29,708 來,過來坐 995 01:19:29,917 --> 01:19:32,442 你這臭小於,運氣還真不錯 996 01:19:32,653 --> 01:19:34,348 居然讓你找到這隊絕活 997 01:19:34,555 --> 01:19:35,351 過獎,過獎 998 01:19:35,556 --> 01:19:38,992 其實你那些什麼鐵頭功、心口碎大石 999 01:19:39,193 --> 01:19:41,127 全都是三腳貓的功夫 1000 01:19:41,361 --> 01:19:42,794 居然可以打入球場 1001 01:19:42,996 --> 01:19:44,964 有兩下子,不錯 1002 01:19:45,265 --> 01:19:46,755 閒話少說 1003 01:19:48,836 --> 01:19:52,033 決賽那天別踢了,全隊過來 1004 01:19:53,240 --> 01:19:56,073 這次可不是空頭支票 1005 01:19:56,276 --> 01:19:58,801 你可以兌了現金再簽合約 1006 01:19:59,746 --> 01:20:01,270 這麼大筆數目… 1007 01:20:01,482 --> 01:20:03,473 真是打斷腿都花不完 1008 01:20:03,684 --> 01:20:06,517 當然,我和你是兄弟嘛 1009 01:20:06,720 --> 01:20:08,312 謝了,雄哥 1010 01:20:08,655 --> 01:20:10,452 但是,我怕受不起 1011 01:20:10,858 --> 01:20:14,259 什麼意思?你以為我會怕你? 1012 01:20:14,461 --> 01:20:18,864 我看你那隊有點意思,想一起搞大 1013 01:20:19,066 --> 01:20:21,864 做人要心胸廣闊,向前看 1014 01:20:22,102 --> 01:20:24,070 不要老記仇,好嗎? 1015 01:20:24,371 --> 01:20:27,829 雄哥,我真的沒記仇 1016 01:20:28,041 --> 01:20:32,478 年輕時不懂事,一切都是因果報應 1017 01:20:34,214 --> 01:20:35,442 你少給我裝蒜 1018 01:20:35,682 --> 01:20:39,448 我早把你看透了,你會不貪? 1019 01:20:41,355 --> 01:20:43,289 真的讓你看透了 1020 01:20:43,790 --> 01:20:46,918 不單是我,我整隊人都貪 1021 01:20:47,161 --> 01:20:49,129 但是不是這張支票 1022 01:20:49,863 --> 01:20:51,922 是全國冠軍 1023 01:20:52,833 --> 01:20:54,664 球場見 1024 01:21:29,203 --> 01:21:30,795 等等!等等!謝謝… 1025 01:21:36,376 --> 01:21:37,570 阿梅 1026 01:21:37,811 --> 01:21:39,005 死掉啦! 1027 01:21:39,446 --> 01:21:40,538 她怎麼死的? 1028 01:21:41,715 --> 01:21:43,046 被我打死的! 1029 01:21:43,250 --> 01:21:43,978 我不信! 1030 01:21:44,184 --> 01:21:46,015 阿梅武功那麼好,憑你打死她? 1031 01:21:46,220 --> 01:21:48,245 她一定死得很冤枉的 1032 01:21:48,455 --> 01:21:50,286 那你想怎麼樣? 1033 01:21:50,490 --> 01:21:52,253 我要幫她報仇 1034 01:21:52,826 --> 01:21:54,953 傻啦,我跟你開玩笑的 1035 01:21:55,495 --> 01:21:57,861 她沒死不過她不在這兒做了 1036 01:21:58,932 --> 01:22:00,263 為什麼? 1037 01:22:00,801 --> 01:22:03,531 我們這兒明明叫“甜在心饅頭”嘛 1038 01:22:03,704 --> 01:22:04,864 不知道那個傻丫頭為什麼突然間 1039 01:22:05,072 --> 01:22:06,505 做的饅頭又苦又咸 1040 01:22:06,707 --> 01:22:08,436 客人都不來了 1041 01:22:08,642 --> 01:22:10,906 我也是被迫才炒她的呀 1042 01:22:11,111 --> 01:22:12,271 又苦又咸? 1043 01:22:12,479 --> 01:22:13,946 是呀 1044 01:22:14,147 --> 01:22:16,843 這位大俠貴姓?找她有什麼事? 1045 01:22:20,254 --> 01:22:21,619 沒事了 1046 01:23:28,655 --> 01:23:30,589 時間差不多啦 1047 01:25:08,455 --> 01:25:11,583 老闆,今天打算贏多少球? 1048 01:25:12,259 --> 01:25:14,989 贏不一定非要進球 1049 01:25:15,829 --> 01:25:18,297 我還有更刺激的方法 1050 01:27:56,423 --> 01:27:57,788 不可能 1051 01:28:02,062 --> 01:28:05,327 想不到美國這種新藥這麼厲害 1052 01:28:26,386 --> 01:28:28,286 還有球証、旁証… 1053 01:28:28,488 --> 01:28:31,889 加上主辦、協辦所有的單位 1054 01:28:32,192 --> 01:28:34,217 全都是我的人 1055 01:28:34,461 --> 01:28:36,258 怎麼和我鬥? 1056 01:29:09,429 --> 01:29:12,023 沒問題! 1057 01:29:14,234 --> 01:29:15,929 -好棒! -太棒啦 1058 01:29:16,269 --> 01:29:17,793 太神啦 1059 01:30:17,063 --> 01:30:18,223 界外球 1060 01:30:18,465 --> 01:30:20,456 當頭踢過去根本是蓄意傷人 1061 01:30:20,700 --> 01:30:23,464 你判界外球,怎麼做球証的? 1062 01:30:23,703 --> 01:30:26,672 強雄,你是踢球還是打人? 1063 01:30:26,873 --> 01:30:28,932 我是打人,怎麼樣? 1064 01:30:29,142 --> 01:30:32,236 我要把你全隊的人打得像你一樣殘廢 1065 01:30:32,445 --> 01:30:34,606 殘廢!殘廢… 1066 01:30:34,814 --> 01:30:36,008 跟我鬥? 1067 01:30:38,885 --> 01:30:41,319 不好意恩各位,我要歇一會了 1068 01:30:41,521 --> 01:30:43,614 不要緊的,你只是人離開 1069 01:30:43,823 --> 01:30:45,791 精神永遠都會在這裡 1070 01:31:04,010 --> 01:31:06,410 全都讓開!我來 1071 01:31:25,098 --> 01:31:26,087 六師弟 1072 01:32:03,136 --> 01:32:06,264 有沒有搞錯?這樣子都不吹 1073 01:32:13,446 --> 01:32:15,209 上半場已經踢得半死了 1074 01:32:15,415 --> 01:32:16,439 下半場還怎麼踢呀? 1075 01:32:16,649 --> 01:32:19,174 回家吧!下半場沒得踢啦! 1076 01:32:19,385 --> 01:32:20,477 沒什麼好看的啦 1077 01:32:20,687 --> 01:32:23,178 要不要一會我下去跳舞撐撐場面? 1078 01:32:23,389 --> 01:32:26,415 跳舞也輪不到你跳,我跳! 1079 01:32:31,798 --> 01:32:33,129 你們這群王八 1080 01:32:49,315 --> 01:32:52,944 讓開 1081 01:32:53,219 --> 01:32:54,880 你們一定不想踢了! 1082 01:32:56,122 --> 01:32:57,749 誰呀?誰呀? 1083 01:32:58,124 --> 01:32:59,056 有沒有人見到? 1084 01:33:01,060 --> 01:33:02,459 有種當我面打我! 1085 01:33:04,330 --> 01:33:05,058 別太使勁了 1086 01:33:05,265 --> 01:33:07,790 我夠賴皮了,他們比我還下流 1087 01:33:08,001 --> 01:33:09,332 想不到我鐵頭功一世英名 1088 01:33:09,535 --> 01:33:11,628 臨老被人開了花 1089 01:33:12,538 --> 01:33:15,632 豈有此理,我早就知道強雄會出陰招 1090 01:33:15,842 --> 01:33:17,434 想不到他玩得這麼過份 1091 01:33:17,644 --> 01:33:19,111 魔鬼隊沒這麼厲害 1092 01:33:19,312 --> 01:33:21,576 肯定是打了針或者吃了藥 1093 01:33:21,781 --> 01:33:23,442 報警把他們抓起來! 1094 01:33:23,650 --> 01:33:24,514 我不管他們吃了什麼 1095 01:33:24,751 --> 01:33:25,911 我們都要盡力踢下去 1096 01:33:26,119 --> 01:33:27,450 最後我們一定會贏的! 1097 01:33:27,654 --> 01:33:29,645 我家突然著火了,我先走了 1098 01:33:29,856 --> 01:33:31,016 對不起,我媽突然早產 1099 01:33:31,224 --> 01:33:32,714 我一定要回去幫忙 1100 01:33:33,259 --> 01:33:34,191 拜托叫你媽晚點早產 1101 01:33:34,394 --> 01:33:35,861 球踢了一半怎麼可以走呢? 1102 01:33:36,095 --> 01:33:37,790 這哪是踢球?要命的! 1103 01:33:38,031 --> 01:33:39,931 拜托,我求求你不要走呀 1104 01:33:40,133 --> 01:33:41,566 我求你,你不要求我了 1105 01:33:41,801 --> 01:33:42,733 讓我走吧 1106 01:33:45,538 --> 01:33:48,405 冷靜點… 1107 01:33:48,608 --> 01:33:50,473 冷靜點! 1108 01:33:51,344 --> 01:33:54,609 沒錯,他說得對 1109 01:33:54,814 --> 01:33:58,614 無論任何情況我們都要踢完這場比賽 1110 01:33:58,818 --> 01:34:00,376 現在我們只剩下八個人 1111 01:34:00,586 --> 01:34:02,349 如果再有任何人受傷離場 1112 01:34:02,555 --> 01:34:04,614 這場球我們就會輸了 1113 01:34:04,891 --> 01:34:07,655 他們的殺人射球,我們一定要頂住 1114 01:34:07,894 --> 01:34:10,454 怎麼頂?你頂一球我頂三球? 1115 01:34:10,697 --> 01:34:12,130 你說什麼 1116 01:34:13,933 --> 01:34:16,800 冷靜點… 1117 01:34:16,970 --> 01:34:18,028 冷靜點! 1118 01:34:18,237 --> 01:34:19,499 別吵啦 1119 01:34:26,212 --> 01:34:28,146 不知道我能不能頂住? 1120 01:34:45,365 --> 01:34:47,026 少林羅漢陣 1121 01:34:50,036 --> 01:34:51,526 擺陣呀? 1122 01:34:54,073 --> 01:34:57,008 不堪一擊 1123 01:34:58,277 --> 01:35:00,302 -頂得住嗎? -頂得住 1124 01:35:39,485 --> 01:35:40,816 阿珍 1125 01:35:41,054 --> 01:35:42,817 -田雞? -是呀 1126 01:35:43,356 --> 01:35:44,948 這二十年來… 1127 01:35:45,158 --> 01:35:47,683 有句話一直埋在我心裡 1128 01:35:47,994 --> 01:35:50,929 其實…我愛你 1129 01:36:36,943 --> 01:36:38,672 我們這樣是不是有點殘忍? 1130 01:36:39,045 --> 01:36:41,143 -不是 -不是? 1131 01:36:42,048 --> 01:36:44,107 那就再殘忍一點 1132 01:37:16,516 --> 01:37:18,484 兄弟,上 1133 01:37:19,418 --> 01:37:20,749 不會吧? 1134 01:37:24,524 --> 01:37:26,492 小心點!兩個上 1135 01:37:52,685 --> 01:37:53,913 盯住呀 1136 01:37:57,156 --> 01:37:58,123 有沒有搞錯? 1137 01:38:23,683 --> 01:38:26,675 繼續!你死了沒有?別裝蒜啦 1138 01:38:26,886 --> 01:38:29,855 這都騙不倒你呀?沒事 1139 01:38:35,127 --> 01:38:37,925 時間不多了,出絕招 1140 01:38:38,197 --> 01:38:39,459 絕招? 1141 01:39:11,297 --> 01:39:13,265 早就叫你回家了 1142 01:39:13,499 --> 01:39:14,761 還在這兒給我拖延時間 1143 01:39:15,368 --> 01:39:16,357 還在這兒給我拖延時間 1144 01:39:22,208 --> 01:39:23,197 少林隊 1145 01:39:23,909 --> 01:39:25,740 你們現在只剩下七個人 1146 01:39:25,945 --> 01:39:27,708 如果你們沒有後備球員上場 1147 01:39:27,913 --> 01:39:29,403 我就要正式終止這場比賽 1148 01:39:29,615 --> 01:39:30,946 判你們少林隊輸了 1149 01:39:36,822 --> 01:39:37,880 還有沒有後補? 1150 01:39:40,393 --> 01:39:42,759 恭喜…謝謝 1151 01:39:45,197 --> 01:39:46,221 還有我 1152 01:39:47,633 --> 01:39:49,328 我是少林隊的後補 1153 01:39:49,669 --> 01:39:50,761 我來當守門員 1154 01:39:57,610 --> 01:39:59,908 你怎麼弄得跟外星人一樣? 1155 01:40:00,513 --> 01:40:03,346 我不會剪頭髮,剃光了比較快點 1156 01:40:03,549 --> 01:40:04,846 你來幹什麼? 1157 01:40:05,084 --> 01:40:06,517 我想幫你們比賽 1158 01:40:06,719 --> 01:40:07,708 你怎麼幫呀? 1159 01:40:07,920 --> 01:40:09,285 你快點回火星吧 1160 01:40:09,488 --> 01:40:10,978 地球是很危險的 1161 01:40:11,190 --> 01:40:12,054 我真的很想幫你呀 1162 01:40:12,258 --> 01:40:13,418 你相信我,讓我試一下吧 1163 01:40:13,659 --> 01:40:17,151 -不行! -真的,你看看… 1164 01:40:17,396 --> 01:40:18,693 你的鞋都破了 1165 01:40:20,966 --> 01:40:21,990 穿這個吧 1166 01:41:08,047 --> 01:41:08,911 在那邊 1167 01:41:22,027 --> 01:41:22,721 上去 1168 01:41:23,562 --> 01:41:24,256 好! 1169 01:41:39,879 --> 01:41:40,971 小心啊! 1170 01:43:50,009 --> 01:43:52,671 怎麼會這樣? 1171 01:43:52,878 --> 01:43:54,106 怎麼會這樣! 1172 01:43:54,313 --> 01:43:55,712 老闆,你小心呀 1173 01:43:55,915 --> 01:43:57,542 我小你老母 1174 01:44:00,819 --> 01:44:03,811 老闆 1175 01:44:04,523 --> 01:44:06,787 老闆… 1176 01:45:31,510 --> 01:45:35,970 少林精神戰勝魔鬼勇奪全國足球冠軍 1177 01:45:38,217 --> 01:45:40,208 魔鬼隊服用禁藥終生停賽 1178 01:45:40,419 --> 01:45:43,547 班主強雄入獄五年 1179 01:47:00,899 --> 01:47:06,201 停車!等等!